Following on from Use Protection, who the hell is in charge here?
|1||_||A self-interested baron more concerned with baking than matters of state.|
|_||1||A beautiful queen breeding moderately intelligent crustaceans in the waterlogged rooms of her castle.|
|2||2||An enigmatic priest and his frantically charismatic cultists.|
|3||_||A raving one-eyed fat woman with a shockingly strong grip and uncanny spitting aim. It's easier just to let her be in charge.|
|_||3||A hall of conversing paintings.|
|4||4||A sketchy shaman type who lives out in the woods. Constant envoys are sent to obtain and carry his verdicts/edicts.|
|5||_||A war council of marauders who decided they'd rather live in the town than sack it. They're surprisingly effective rulers.|
|_||5||A beloved penitent beggar queen who becomes a beast at night and hunts through the streets.|
|6||6||A stern mother and her five golden-haired boys.|
|7||_||A rabid black-garbed man with a ponderously protruding posterior and a spittle-soaked hatred for the mundane.|
|8||7||A cabal of wizards, possibly amalgamated into a single mass.|
|_||8||The orphaned 9-year-old end of an illustrious heritage, in a beautiful delicate pink bouffant lace dress.|
|9||9||A cheerfully portly ruddy-cheeked burgomeister wearing the most impressive Jacobean ruff, accompanied by two stern-faced puffy lapdogs (who are also wearing ruffs).|
|10||_||An immense pimple-faced man in fine ill-fitting clothes of beautiful colours. He's been known to eat flies. Is actually a whole bunch of frogs in a man suit.|
|_||10||A fragile blue-skinned woman with a failing voice who holds council with a menagerie of beasts around her column-arched circular chambers. Drifting ice crystals form in your breath within her presence.|
|11||11||A beautiful effete man with eyelashes as long as fingers, blood blister red lips and a hairless cranium. He has a penchant for jellied exotic birds and likes his men scarred.|
|12||_||A retired thief queen, settling into small-town life with a harem of fawning rogue boys.|
|_||12||Three crones and dancing oracle twins in a gazebo-topped tower. The twins' eyes roll about their heads in a drug-addled blissful delirium and their skin has the hue of pearls without the shine; off-white with a surface illusion of translucency.|
|13||13||A sweet-tongued woman wearing jewellery made from the bones of her unfaithful lovers.
It's hard to be faithful when shes addicted to jealousy and can drive you sweating into the arms of another with a careful turn of phrase.
|14||14||A twin who fears the return of their sibling.|
|15||_||The sister founders of the town, now fused together in a fungal mass contained within a guarded stone cellar.|
|_||15||An androgynous youth in a pale ruby throne, marionette strings tied all about their body leading to silver bells hanging about the chamber, a warning to everyone should they ever move.|
|16||16||A moist-eyed girl with a musical voice kept in an elaborately carved enclosed wooden palanquin. The shadows obscure everything but her face.|
|17||_||Old Jenny Finger-Biter, drifting cheek-deep in a green-brick pool in the centre of town. Sure she gnaws off people's fingers in their sleep, but she's so wise.|
|_||17||A particularly large pale barrel-bodied Regent Fish, carried around by sopping wet courtiers, it can only speak while gasping in the open air.|
|18||18||A five-sibling council; two of them incestuous, one of them nervous and strange, one of them seductively generous, and one of them studious and aloof. All are scheming against the others, none realise all the others are faerie changelings that long ago replaced the originals.|
|19||_||The Marble Fawn, a melancholic anthropomorphic albino deer, probably cursed.
If asked about it his body shakes and he softly says with eyes closed, witches.
|20||19||A blind man taking council in his shit-drenched bird room.|
|_||20||A dramatic turquoise baboon with a golden seed of intelligence planted within its skull growing golden shoots and leaves from its nose and ears.|