Rose: “I think I have the oral hygiene of a convict at the moment so I have the authentic palate for it. I feel like the back of my tongue has been ringbarked. It gathers in my ulcer nicely and then runs to the back of my palate like a bushfire.”

 

Logan: “The first sip is a bit of a shock, much like the first crime, but the second goes down a lot easier and you start to feel the appeal. It would be easy to fall into this life of crime.”

 

Rose: “Logan Knight you are the man of my dreams and I love you, recklessly, with abandon, I refuse to love moderately.”

 

Recommended for petty larceny, perhaps the theft of a small fluffy sheep with a black face.