Sometimes in games as in life there are going to be cats, and those cats needs names.

So here’s a d100 table! Roll once for a complete name, roll twice to mix it up, roll twice in reverse, just keep rolling until you have all of the cats.

 

 

What Is This Kitty Called?

d100
1CanklesFarnsworth51BabelBarbsmith
2Hook-EaredPickens52BlackNancy
3GinnyRathbone53RawkusGrikksmarc
4CardinalPickles54RupertWigglesworth
5ButtCrumpet55ItchyLeperflesh
6PuffyHampshire56BorisRanklefoot
7SilkyStraussgard57VeraWrinkleface
8BrownPumpkinickle58FleabitGrumbleguts
9SharpieLittlethroat59TonyFoamspittle
10DelftPondarker60MisterMilktooth
11BlackenFiretitts61HubertHaagendaas
12LittleArsehole62PreciousMangle
13VodooHaaskikur63GregorKittenpants
14PillowPudding64TalbotRumplestein
15ButterKnuckles65GummyDewclaw
16SirCreamyclaws66GafferRawhide
17FluffyTinklebottom67TwinkleButternuffer
18WretchedSwallowtail68MarvinMusklord
19ScabbyFleckenhole69NittieMattfur
20ScruffyMcTavish70ToughyMcknickers
21AnchovyBrughelbraun71RowenaRufflebottom
22FlakySandtongue72TinaFurlips
23One-EyedNipples73MarciGloomhouse
24Pinkythe Conceiver74Marquisde Rumph
25Mad EyeDockbane75PrincessPillowpush
26MuffinSoftycheeks76MarthaPoot
27PimpleViscossi77PussywillowFartlord
28PouchySaagenbutt78CreampuffOnionbreath
29UglyBalls79DeonSugarcrust
30PuslordStitchface80CherryDemonsplooge
31ColinNeedlenose81SneakyWrinklecreeps
32PossumHangnail82Brushbottlethe Third
33Clawdthe Cat83ViscousWhiscous
34MittensBabysmother84Stabbythe Tabby
35IronshodPhillips85CommitmentIssues
36AbsentAbsent86HobbleGobble
37ChudDeBalzac87BlessedMilkiface
38MadameNeglect88ScrumpleRavagelord
39WhiskyWaxlips89SpittyLincoln
40RotgutMorrigan90Round4th Duke of Cuddles
41FuckfaceMalone91LavenderBestfriend
42KittenSaltywhiskers92FatfaceMcNeill
43ScreechyShitfur93ButterballsO'Malley
44AlanGrosgard94SandyRatlover
45TheodoreYellowstain95DiscoGlitterhammer
46Geraldthe Shitcunt96ShelbySloane
47JonesyBlacktongue97Ladythe Indecent
48BellafurKrakenbush98MilkeyeHurtsville
49ThornyNotail99CottonmouthPoundcake
50AmmoniaPotbelly100SprinklesHellduke

 

Download the table from Penny Pamphlets.

Combine with Goblin Punch’s Catbooks for maximum cat action.

Also here’s a curse:

 

Curse of a Thousand Cats!

 

You can suddenly see cats everywhere you go, but nobody else seems to notice. They appear to be friendly, mewing and milling about, rubbing up your legs with a friendly pur. All the time. If you threaten one it will hiss and run away while the others sit and stare. That night you will wake up with hundreds of them piled upon your chest. If you accept this without too much fuss they will hop down and pur while they groom themselves on your bedroom floor. If you struggle they will suffocate and crush you under their fluffy bottoms.

If you continue to threaten them after this, or if your original threats were too violent, their fur turns black and static and they will gut you in the street. Onlookers will stare in amazement as you scream and claw at the air while chunks of flesh are torn away and your innards spill onto your feet.

 

Preparing this curse requires a pot of new milk, catswort grown on a spinster’s grave, nine furballs of varying age and density, and at least twelve cats need to be present of their own free will during the four hour ritual. A ball of yarn is soaked in the concoction for the duration of the ritual and thrown at the intended victim.